Spiderman the Tormented Hero

Man, Peter Parker just doesn't get any breaks.

First, let me start by saying there is so much history on everybody's favorite wallcrawler there is no way I am going to cover it all for free in my little blog. Created in 1962, the wall crawler has 46 years of history and in depth story lines. So I am just going to recap a few of the more memorable moments in his long career.

Peter Parker everybodies favorite nerd (sorry, Mr Fantastic as far as nerds go you may be a big one, but ol' Peter Parker wins it) got bullied by the jocks and tormented by everyone that noticed him in school. Along comes a spider (in the classic version radiation from nucleur war being the big fear, a radioactive spider, genetic tampering being the current fear genetically modified in more recent versions) and bites him. Gets sick and transforms him, right? Well, maybe... there is a theory involving mystical orgins that popped up recently in the comic books as well. Life is great the spider bite cures his poor vision, gives him great strength, lets him cling to walls and his spider sense (more recent versions include natural web making and poisonous stingers). Now being a poor kid and wanting things a little better he tries to get into show buisness (we all know how this ends). A robbery, he lets the bad guy get away and Uncle Ben dies (once again two versions robbery at home or car jacking depending on the times greatest fears). He blames himself and becomes a super hero to make everything better.

Nobody understands poor Peter. Life is going on and his best friends father becomes one of his biggest enemies- The Green Goblin (makes it real hard to hang out when your friends dad wants you dead). Aahh wonder of wonders Petey gets a beautiful blonde babe named Gwen Stacy. She loves him and he loves her. All is well in the world, but you know friends sometimes talk to their parents and Mr.Goblin comes a calling. In an incredible fight on the George Washington Bridge Gobby tosses Gwen over the edge. Spidey tries to get her with his web but her neck snaps. Sorry, Pete you know we can't let you be happy. Spiderman and the Green Goblin duke it out with the green goblin accidentally dying. Hey buddy yeah your dad and I were fighting and he kinda accidently died... that's not a conversation I'd want with one of my friends.

Mary Jane , beautiful Mary Jane Watson. The longest on again off again relationship in comic book history (although Louis and Clark runs a hard second). Lets see she really likes Peter but he is dealing with the issues of losing a loved one and blaming himself (self blame a recurring theme). When she does manage to get a date with him he ends up being late, leaving early or not even showing up. However, he does have some great pics of Spidey fighting some supervillains on the front page of the bugle (narcissism- taking pics of himself and getting on the front page... ego much?). So Peter Parker is too busy well there is always his friend Harry Osborn (AKA Gobby Jr.) She dates him and at some point Harry puts on his daddy's tights (and goes crazy in the process... yes in the comics it was tights not armor that the green goblin wore). Harry tries to get Spidey for killing his dad and eventually discovers that Spidey is Peter. This of course does not end well as Peter's family and loved ones are targeted. They fight and Harry loses his memory. Now here is a recurring villain every time he gets his memory back he fights Spidey and the more time Peter spends with Harry the more likely he gets his memory back. So much for friends.

J. Jonah Jameson has his way and eventually New York hates spiderman. He puts on the black suit and does most of his crimefighting at night. Well maybe if Spiderman was more powerful things would get better (either the result of an alien on a shuttle or a gift from the Beyonder at the end of the Secret Wars he gets a new more powerful symbiotic suit). Aah but the suit is alive and feeds off of negative feelings so it encourages those feeling in its host. Spidey figures it out but not before the suit almost consumes him. He ditches the suit and it bonds with a rival of Peter Parker and becomes the next of Superman's great enemies, Venom.

Now lets take a good look at a couple of Peter Parkers idols. Two great men, scientists both. Doctor Connors and Doctor Octavious. They become the Lizard and Doc Ock, (a small side note at some point later in the comics Doc Ock and Aunt May get engaged... I missed that one, but it couldn't have been much fun for Petey).

Here is a more recent idea. Let's go public with Spiderman's identity and become an Avenger (actually I recall an old episode where Peter dreamed of that and they dismissed him as being just a kid). Well, the end results are similar to when Green Goblin found out his identity, but as a member of the Avengers his family was protected... until Civil War. Peter Parker becomes Tony Stark'sassistant. Gets money out the wazoo. Lives in Stark Towers. Has married Mary Jane. Has a new high tech suit courtesy of Tony Stark. WE all know how his happiness can't be allowed to last. Civil War and the super power registration act. At first he is on Stark's side, but he eventually realizes that it isn't right and joins Captain America's side. Now Captain America is a heroes hero and Pete kinda idolizes him.... uh-oh. So when he joins Caps side he becomes an outlaw and so does his family. Civil War heats up and Captain America is killed (tell you what I don't think I ever want to be thought well of by Peter Parker).

It gets better though. Because the bad guys know his secret identity no place is safe for them. King Pin puts a hit out on Spidey and tells the shooter that if Peter doesn't hold still to shoot a family member instead. He does and Aunt May is shot. Does Aunt May die? Maybe, but Mary Jane makes a deal with the devil Mephisto and gets reality altered so that Pete never revealed his identity, but the price was Peter and her never got married and she doesn't recall Peter's alter ego.

Once again, Spiderman has to be one of the most tormented superheroes in the comic books. The only time he is allowed happiness is when it will lead t oa storyline that will involve an even greater personal tragedy.

As they used to say, "Make Mine Marvel."

Have Fun and Be Great

Next: More Reasons Why I Should Not Be President